When I was pregnant, everything was perfectly planned. I was hoping to give birth normal, and planning to breastfeed my baby as long as I can. I was so sure that these things will happen. I was even talking to my baby inside my tummy “anak tulungan mo mommy ha labas ikaw agad!
But all of a sudden, May 31, 2017, everything changed. I was unexpectedly in labor for three days (which was not written on the pregnancy book I was reading). I had blood spots as well. We went to the hospital and they sent me back home coz my cervix is not yet open! Then the next day after all the pain of labor, still I gave birth via c-section. I was so happy that my baby was safe and healthy.
When I woke up, they told me I have to feed my baby. Then my baby tried but there was no milk. We tried everything we know on how to produce milk- massage with warm water, and letting my baby continously suck so the milk will come out. After two days my baby is already crying out looking for milk. We decided to buy formula and milk bottles. I was so happy that time to see my baby satisfied with the formula milk.
Then after all those things I had time to open my social media account and everybody was asking- is it normal delivery? are you breastfeeding? Suddenly tears was shed.. Can I still call myself a mother…?
YES! Being a mom doesn’t only revolve on breastfeeding and natural birth. That maybe a good part of it but not the whole. Never ever feel guilty because you cannot breastfeed exclusively, and you have a scar in your tummy. Not all women have the same body and fate.
Even after giving him the formula, I still tried breastfeeding because of the guilt inside me everytime the baby is not feeling well. I would always think that it is because he is not breast fed. Then, I would start again to cry thinking I’m not giving the best I could.
But after 5 months, I told myself STOP! Feeling bad all the time is not helping my baby and me to be better. I started communicating with my baby little by little. Trying to know him more and him knowing me more.
I decided then to be a full time Mom. It was the best decision I made because I got the best feeling of seeing the baby growing.
At the moment I am enjoying being the Mom of my son. I may not be able to breastfeed like an ideal mom should be, waking up everytime at anytime to prepare the milk is a sacrifice not only by the Moms but also the Dads. Giving birth by c-section may not be as well ideal but the pain you will endure after operation. Not to mention the risks and complications that might happen afterwards.
Here are some examples you might feel and experience:
* People may look odd at you when you’re taking out the milk bottle and you might think you’re a bad Mom, it’s not true. You are not a bad Mom at all. They might just be staring at what milk you are using. Always remember that you are the Mom, that is your child, and they are just your audience.
* You may hear others saying that you’re baby is not a cow, why giving cow’s milk! I thank all the cows out there for sharing us their milk, specially for the babies who are orphan, and moms who are sick, and moms like me who havent got enough milk to provide for the baby.
* Social media. A lot of famous people are breastfeeding while you’re holding the milk bottle. There are even groups about breastfeeding while for formula feeding there is none. I know how you feel, but what matters most is that you’re still able to feed your baby.
Breastfeeding is the best for babies and I salute all the moms out there who exclusively breastfed their babies. But in some situation “babies being fed is the best”.
Mommies, don’t let it turn you down to thinking that you’re not a good Mom, because what makes us a great mom is by giving our LOVE to our babies. Enjoy this moment, and don’t waste your time crying and worrying. Because you are not the only one who feel guilty, I was too! 🙂 As long as our babies are healthy, and happy we are happy!